Instructions for Watching My Girlfriend While I’m Out of Town
- Posted on September 8, 2026
- By The New Yorker
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- 1 min read
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Instructions for Watching My Girlfriend While I’m Out of Town
Make sure that water is always available to Blythe, but don’t freak out if she doesn’t drink much. Blythe believes that hydration is “a conspiracy invented by Gatorade.”