Angie (R) has seen several members of her family be diagnosed with dementia, including her mum (Picture: Supplied) Angie Wild’s family had always been close. Her parents divorced when she was young, but she was always surrounded by aunts and uncles, and she and her two sisters spent every summer at her nan Hettie’s house in Bournemouth, enjoying ice creams and sandcastles on the beach. ‘When Nan got older, she moved to a little flat to be near us in Tameside. She was happy and independent for a few years, before things started to change,’ Angie, 64 remembers. When her grandmother began putting an electric kettle on a gas hob, and often forgetting her keys, Angie’s mum Dorothy moved Hettie in with the family, where they watched sadly as dementia took hold of their kind, sweet, fun-loving grandmother  and made her angry. The family had no clue it was a foreshadow of things to come. Hettie died in 1987, and her three children Dorothy, Hadrian and Edith all went on to be diagnosed with varying forms of dementia. Hadrian’s wife Pat also died from the disease, as well as Dorothy’s best friend. ‘It is heartbreaking to see it happen over and over again,’ Angie tells Metro. Pat was the first to show symptoms which emerged after complications from dental surgery left her with a brain infection. The family made the devastating decision to move her into sheltered accommodation. Then Hadrian was diagnosed too. (L-R) Angie’s Auntie Pat, Auntie Edith, Uncle Hadrian and her mum, all of whom had been diagnosed with dementia (Picture: Supplied) ’He was wandering about, and my cousins were concerned he wasn’t safe. He was a very social person who loved life and loved going out, so it was a huge decision to move Uncle Hadrian into a care home,’ remembers Angie. ‘Then my Auntie Edith, who had been on her own since her husband died of cancer in his fifties, started forgetting things. She was a dancing queen. She loved going out and getting dressed up. When she was diagnosed with vascular dementia, things became very difficult. It was terrible. She was soiling herself and would become quite angry and upset. ’There was no choice but to move Edith into a care home too, and once again the family were heartbroken.’ Angie’s mum Dorothy (L) was close to her sister, Edith (Picture: Supplied) Angie remembers taking her mother Dorothy to visit her sister. ‘She couldn’t walk any more. She was bent over. It was really distressing. Mum said as we left: “I hope I don’t get like that.”‘ Tragically, Dorothy’s own symptoms soon emerged, and two years ago she was diagnosed with mixed dementia. It was the last time Angie and her mpther ever spoke about the disease, as the wider family believe it is best that she does not dwell on her diagnosis. ‘Mum was told at the memory clinic in Tameside that she had dementia. She said: “Well, that’s that then.” The doctor explained that her memory had been affected and she looked at me. I just said: “Oh well, we all have memory problems at times.” ‘Since then, we have not mentioned it to her and she doesn’t talk about it to us. That was the decision the family made to keep her happy. So that was the last time we spoke about it,’ says Angie. ’She might ask about Uncle Hadrian or Auntie Edith. She went to their funerals and knows they passed away. But she will ask where they are, or ask, “Where’s Mum?” We just say: “Oh, they’ve popped to the shops.” ‘You just don’t want someone to go through that grief and upset again.’ Currently, Dorothy is happy. She is cared for at home by her husband and family visit every day. Angie takes her out at weekends and she enjoys visits from her daughters and grandchildren. ‘Mum does lots of activities. She goes to singing, music and dementia groups. She loves it. But you can see the deterioration, and that’s really difficult,’ she explains. Three years ago, Angie brought all of her experience to her role as a dementia adviser at the Alzheimer’s Society. Angie now works at Alzheimer’s Society helping people navigate life with dementia (Picture: Supplied) After 38 years working for Tameside Metropolitan Borough Council – many of them with older people – she had a wealth of experience that she wanted to bring to the charity. She is often the first person people speak to after they have seen the doctor, helping them come to terms with the frightening diagnosis. ‘It can be tough sometimes because I am advising people on things I am going through with my own family. ’People often ask me: “How is this going to go? How is Mum or Dad going to be? Can you tell me how long?” But there isn’t a cure at the moment, so I tell people to take it one day at a time because everyone responds differently. ‘Or people will ask: “Can you stop this?” Unfortunately, we can’t. But we can help connect people with support.’ Psychosocial interventions, including therapies and social groups, are among the best ways to support people living with dementia, Angie says. They can improve wellbeing, support memory, keep people active and provide valuable connections with others facing similar challenges. ‘It is about keeping your brain occupied. Even doing puzzles, crosswords and listening to music can make a huge difference. Mum and I sing all the time. We sing Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds (Don’t Worry About a Thing)” because she’s a born worrier, but we put some music on and it changes the mood.’ ‘Mum does lots of activities. She goes to singing, music and dementia groups – she loves it,’ says Angie (Picture: Supplied) A diagnosis can be just as difficult for loved ones, Angie says, and she has seen too many families torn apart by disagreements about care, responsibilities and, sadly, money. This is where patients can help by arranging wills and lasting powers of attorney early on, as well as setting out their personal wishes. ‘I remember one lady who was moving into a home saying: “I want a gin and tonic every night at eight o’clock, and I want ginger nut biscuits. I want my lips done and my make-up done.” ‘Well, why not? That person should have their wishes respected. As dementia advisers, we can help people get these things written down so they receive the support they want.’ Angie says she does not worry about developing dementia herself. While parents can pass on genetic risk factors, she focuses instead on staying active and engaged. ’I don’t worry about it because you can’t. Whatever life is going to throw at you, you just have to take,’ she explains. ‘I know how to look after myself. I’m very resilient and I deal with things as they come. My advice to others is to keep interacting with people. Keep your mind occupied and as alert as possible. That’s what I do. ‘Anyway, I’m a busy lady. I work full-time. I’ve set up a ladies’ group and a craft group to raise money for Alzheimer’s Society.’ She has also raised an astonishing amount of money. Over the past 12 years, Angie has made £258,000 for local causes, hospices and cancer charities, including £20,000 for the Alzheimer’s Society. Given everything her family has gone through, Angie remains positive. ’Not everyone understands dementia. But it doesn’t have to be something frightening. It is all about how you are with somebody and how you make them feel. ‘There is nothing better than walking into the care home and seeing my mum’s smiling face. She is a different person now and, yes, it can be draining, but there is support out there.  ‘It is a terminal illness, but I do believe there will be a cure. Maybe not in our lifetime – but one day.’